Remember that time I swore I would post every week?

Yeah. *hangs head in shame*

But... BUT... I promise to have something brilliant/insightful/entertaining/life-changing next week. Or, you know, maybe I'll just post pictures of cats.

First post back is about... Les Mis!

Well, I think it only appropriate for my first post since, well, forever, to be about Les Mis. Especially since my rant about Taylor Swift possibly being cast as Eponine was my most popular post to date. 

First I gloat.

How freaking good was Samantha Barks?! I mean, could you really picture TSwizzle doing that song now that you've (hopefully) seen it? It would have turned into a 21st century country music video. (I love Taylor Swift as a songwriter and a studio singer, but NOT FOR BROADWAY! Especially not LIVE Broadway!)


Next I share my thoughts/feelings. And of course, I rant a little.

Eddie Redmayne made me have ALL THE FEELS, people! All. The. Feels. I, of course, cried throughout the movie because I am a total baby and cry at everything, but when Eddie did his song, I was a mess. It didn't help that I was also battling a cold and was already snotting everywhere. Pretty sight, I was. Can we talk about his voice!? Who would have ever thought he could sing like that? When they first announced the casting, I was worried about him. I mean, he was dead-on for the character but I was afraid of his singing. But I was nervous for absolutely no reason because he held his own with all the professional Broadway people. And his acting!!! If I were running their Oscar campaign, I'd be pushing Eddie for Best Supporting Actor. But Anne and Hugh are totally stealing all his thunder. *note: Eddie was in a little movie I cast so I kinda feel a little like a proud mama.

That being said, Anne Hathaway really was amazing. Honestly, I had a hard time with the whole singing live thing at first. Until her song. And then I GOT it. I've listened to/watched televised/seen(live) this musical many, many times, as the total musical theatre nerd I am, this was the first time I really felt this song the way it's written. Oscar for Anne! (I think it will totally happen)

Hugh Jackman... Hmmm. I really wanted to like him more than I did. I felt like he pushed a little in places. He was spot on about 80% (this is being nice) of the time for me and then at times I felt like he was doing it as if on stage. I don't think that's entirely his fault, though. I think Tom Hooper could have brought him down/backed the camera off a hair, but what do I know? I'm just a little old casting director. He'll get an Oscar nom. Probably won't win, though.

Amanda Seyfried was good.

Samantha Barks was great.

Aaron Tveit was quite brilliant, but he's a Broadway guy so that was already assumed.

Gavroche aka The little boy. More feels! How good was Daniel Huttlestone, guys?

Helena Bonham Carter and Sacha Baron Cohen were funny, which is good as they're the bit of comic relief in a completely and utterly depressing story, but the camera was too close most of the time. I wanted Tom Hooper to back off so I could actually see what was going on. I mean, the stealing sequences were really well staged, I just couldn't see everything because the camera was way too close! (And HBC's voice worked for this role. Still won't forgive her or Tim Burton for Sweeny Todd, though.)

And that just brings me to Russell Crowe. *sighs* *shakes head* Where to begin? (There are spoilers here! So if you are the one person who doesn't know the story, stop reading now!) Okay. Russell Crowe is the perfect Javert ... unless there's singing involved. So ... yeah. It's not that he just couldn't sing it, but it also felt like so much work for him to do this part. You know how when some foreign actors try to do an American accent and it makes their acting not as good as when they do their own accent because you can see them thinking about pronunciations? It was like that for me. Plus I just didn't care about him and we should care about Javert!!! In fact, during his first and biggest song "Stars," I was mentally willing him to (SPOILER!!!) jump to his death then!

And the last thing I'll rant about, because, as you know or will quickly learn, I'm ranty from time to time, is the direction. As I mentioned earlier, I found it extremely distracting in places. I feel like Tom Hooper used way too many close ups, especially where the characters are practically singing at the camera. If was uncomfortable. I was like, "Stop singing at me! It's creepy!" This was mostly in the scenes that involved the ensemble. Do I think his choice to have the actors sing live was good? Ultimately, yes. Do I think another director would have done a better job? YES!

So there you have it. My thoughts on Les Mis. Mostly positive. Ish.

Sometimes life is punchy.

Originally posted on June 1, 2012

 
I have sat in front of my computer screen staring at a blank "new post" page many, many times over the last few months. And then I would type a few things and then I delete them. And then type, and delete, over and over and over again until I contemplated deleting the entire blog altogether. The thing is, it's hard to be inspirational when you yourself are feeling uninspired.

I know most of the people who read my posts - if you haven't abandoned ship (and thank you for that, BTW) - are actors or other creative-types. And most of you will probably relate to my recent frustrations. You see, sometimes casting directors struggle as much as actors do in between jobs. I know we're supposed to be these big, scary people who hold your dreams in our hands, but we are just human. We have bills to pay. We have crazy family members and friends to deal with. We have old pets with health problems. We suffer from depression and/or anxiety. We have car troubles. We have families of birds nesting in our backyards that we obsessively observe and occasionally photograph. Just me? Okay, well anyway, the point is, we are just like you!  


And each time a job finishes, I tend to get a little down. Okay, a LOT down. And then I panic because I don't know when the next job will start and what the next job will be and if I will lose my insurance and on and on and on, as all us freelance creative-types tend to do between projects. And it totally sucks.

Sometimes it just feels like life is punching you in the face from the moment you wake up until you finally fall unconscious at night, only to do it all over again the next day. And the next. And the next. But we must remember that eventually life's arm will get tired from all the punching, and the blows will become lighter and lighter until we become immune to them.

But you guys, these things only destroy us if we let them.  
And I have been letting it destroy me for the last month or so. But no mas! I say, enough with the violence already, life! Surely, a punching bag would be far better target on which to practice your fighting skills. From this moment on, I vow to learn how to bob and weave and block life's punches more effectively. Sure, there will be times I let my guard down and wallow in self-pity, and end up with a figurative swollen lip, and I might even need those times, but then I will pick myself back up, brush myself off, and put in my mouth guard. And I will be ready for you, life. I will be ready.

Now, please to enjoy photos of my happy little bird family. If anyone knows what kind of birds these are, I would love it if you would let me know in the comments! (Thanks to @PRETTYMEADOW I found out that the birds are House Finches!) Shall I name them?

Also, I'm back. Sorry about abandoning you for so long. It won't happen again. But if I run out of things to say, be prepared for bird family updates. Which will, of course, include photos. Because, eeee! Bird family in my back yard! 

Ego < Experience

Originally posted on March 15, 2012

 

I have an actor friend who works all the time. She’s one of those people you see and go, “Oh, look it’s ... her ... from that ... thing.” In fact, she works so much that there are even times where I’ll be watching a show and she’ll unexpectedly pop up and I’m like, “Well hello, Amazing Actor Friend. What are you doing on there?” It’s a thing of beauty, I tell ya.

And I want explain to all of you lovely people why she works all the time – aside from being generally awesome and amazingly talented, though as her friend, I might be a tad biased.

She works consistently because she doesn’t ever think she’s too good for ANYTHING.

She was recently submitted for a one-line role on a project I was casting, and at first I was like, “oh, but you’re better than that.” But then I was like, “I admire that you value any job, any size, and don’t want to pass up any opportunity.” Smart actor, this one.

She knows that each and every opportunity can lead to something else.

She knows that experience breeds confidence.

She knows that a job is a freaking job!

I can’t tell you how many actors think they are better than small one-line roles. (see example HERE) But the thing is, those actors are usually the ones not working consistently.

What these actors don’t understand is that you need those smaller credits to build up your resume. I’m not saying that you should go be an extra. No. I’m simply saying don’t poo-poo the small roles. Do those co-star roles on TV shows and those one line roles in indie movies. Because guess what? Even the one line roles in bigger blockbuster films are usually reserved for actors with more credits. So build those credits, people!

Experience means everything in this business. We all have to pay our dues. Hell, I had to intern for nine months before getting a paying casting job. NINE months! Of working for FREE! But I did it.

Everyone has to start somewhere. Don’t let your ego stop you from gaining valuable experience.

Does this post make me look fat?

Originally posted on March 2, 2012

 

I overheard the most disturbing conversation last week at Starbucks. These two women were talking about Adele with this “good for her being so recognized despite being the size she is” attitude, which I found extremely condescending. Apparently only very thin women can be recognized without question. Each of these ladies then tried to convince the other (and themselves) that Adele is beautiful even if she doesn’t fit the standard definition of “beauty.” My question is: whose standard? Because I think she’s a pretty damn beautiful woman. I mean, you can’t argue with that bone structure! One of these two ladies even said that it shouldn’t matter what she looks like with a voice like hers, but if you have to go out of your way to say this, doesn’t that sort of make your point? If it doesn’t matter why bring it up at all?

Now I would like to talk about the Oscars. Octavia Spencer, in particular. Pretty much every recap I read referred to her as “full-figured” and “curvy.” Are these the only adjectives you could come up with, people? Does it matter? Does it make her brilliant performance any more or less brilliant? Also, why is “curvy” a bad thing?

When we as a society put the likes of Angelina Jolie on a pedestal, do we think we’re sending our young girls the right message? You guys! Did you see her at the Oscars? YIKES, right? Remember when she was athletic and sexy? Bring that Angie back! #AngelinaJolie was trending on Twitter right after the awards, so for fun, I read through a bunch of the posts. About half were making fun of that ridiculous leg pose, and the other half were saying she needs to eat something. And, of course, there were a few that defended her waifish (can we call her that? Is there one step beyond waifish that might be more appropriate?) figure. They said that all the haters were probably just jealous, fat women. Interestingly, most of those “eat a cookie” comments were from MEN!

Oh, you guys, I’m not sure what the answer is here, and I know things probably won’t change in my lifetime, but, seriously, something’s got to give. 

 

* * *

 

When this posted originally an annonymous commenter made a very good point:

 

You make a lot of sense, but let me ask you this: How many "curvy" or "full-figured" women have you called in for roles in the past month? Roles that did not specifically call for a fat woman? Until that changes, then nothing will.

 

 

My response:

 

Anon:
I personally call in women of all shapes and sizes whenever possible. If they are the best actor for the part, you bet your ass I will fight for them! If they aren't, well, then they aren't.

Sadly, directors/producers/studio heads don't share my feelings that we should populate these fictional worlds with "real" women, and thus I have nothing to "show" for it on my resume. But not for my lack of trying.

On a cool note, the last indie film I did featured a full-figured female lead. The director even fought the producers to get her the role! Too bad we lost our financing and the project never got made. But, see? Sometimes there's hope.

Touché, Taylor Swift. Touché.

Originally posted on February 13, 2012

I want to begin by saying that I firmly stand by my position that Taylor Swift was completely wrong for Eponine in the upcoming feature of Les Miserables and I’m still beyond happy about the casting. That being said, I couldn’t help but feel like she was singing right to me at the Grammys last night when she performed her very apropos song “Mean.” Sample lyrics: “You have pointed out my flaws again as if I don't already see them … Why you gotta be so mean?” Yeah…  *hangs head in shame*

Before I get back to that, I’d like to give my two cents on the show itself.  First of all Whitney Houston was one of my first cassette tapes as a kid. I listened to it over and over belting “How Will I Know” at the top of my lungs (badly) while dreaming of one day being as amazing as she was. Her passing is so tragic yet, unfortunately, not entirely surprising. Addiction is an extremely heartbreaking disease that needlessly hurts so many, many people. I felt that the Grammys handled her passing quite elegantly and Jennifer Hudson did her proud. The tribute to Etta James was pretty damn amazing as well.

Next, I want to ask why the hell is the world so forgiving of Chris Brown? What is wrong with everyone? Did you guys see the tweets where young girls are begging him to beat them? Seriously? WTF? It literally made me nauseous. If we continue to glorify people like him, our society is doomed. Doomed, I tell you!

On a lighter note: I WANT TO BE ADELE WHEN I GROW UP! Yeah, so I have a little over a decade on her, but I still totally want to be her when I grow up. She’s such a positive role model in this day and age of frighteningly thin women (and men). But the next person who dares to say that she is even remotely overweight, I swear I will jump through the interwebs and gouge your eyeballs out! She’s gorgeous! I would give my left nut to look like her and I’m betting you would too! Then there’s that voice! And she’s humble and awkward and so cute. Serious girl crush going on over here if you haven't noticed. Oh, yeah, and she won ALL THE AWARDS!  Rightfully so. (sorry about all the exclamation points but she really is just that awesome!)

Now, back to my nemesis Taylor. You guys, I LOVED her last night! Like, love loved her. Like, I-watched-her-performance-four-times-in-a-row loved her. The artistic direction of that performance and the performance itself, were spot on. And she sounded AMAZING! Seriously, the best I’ve ever heard her. My hat’s off to you Taylor. You win. And you have proved a worthy adversary. (Though still not right for Eponine.)

Ask and ye shall receive!

Originally posted on February 1, 2012

 
You guys!!! Taylor Swift is not going to be in Les Miserables!!! 

If you only want to be an actor because you want to be famous, please try Youtube.

Originally posted on January 23, 2012

 

“I just, like, really want to be famous and stuff.” 

- Every wannabe actor ever.

Okay I might have dramatized that a bit, but I really do hear versions of this. A LOT. When I meet people and they first learn what I do for a living (especially when they don’t live in L.A. and have never acted in their life), they simply must tell me that I should cast them in something because they just have to be famous! Honestly, as they talk about their dreams of fame and fortune, I just really want to punch them in the face. Acting is not as easy as they think it is. And there are REAL actors out there who take it seriously!

Recently, I had a conversation with a guy who knew about entertainment and still said, emphatically, I might add (though in all fairness that might have been the alcohol talking), that he could do what any of these A-list actors could do any day of the week. And better than them as well. It took everything in me not to haul off and thrust an elbow into his sternum, but, alas, I resisted.

I don’t like to talk about it, but before I got into casting, I attended an acting conservatory. All I learned from it was that A) I absolutely did not have thick enough skin to be an actor (I was really more of a musical theater dancer/actor anyway). And B) most people move to LA to be actors because they just want to be famous.

If you really just want to be famous, try going on The Bachelor or film yourself doing something stupid and post it on YouTube. Seriously. Leave the acting to the experts. And by experts I mean Taylor Swift. * le sigh* (what can I say? I just can’t get over it!)

In which I rant about Les Miserables. (and die a little inside)

Originally posted on January 9, 2012

 

Every so often a film casts someone so unbearably wrong for a role that it literally keeps me up at night. And guess what? It’s (possibly) happened again. I’m still holding my breath for someone to admit that this is just some bad internet rumor and NOT TRUE, but in this day and age of Hollywood, I’m pretty sure it’s really happening. AND IT KILLS ME!!!

WARNING: This is going to get rant-y and there will most likely be strong language involved.

So, you guys! I admit it. I’m a total musical theater nerd! Like, for reals. Like, I can sing Into the Woods word for word. Every part. (See also: Sweeny Todd, Westside Story, Sunset Boulevard, The Fantasticks, Pippin, JC Superstar, Miss Saigon, and many, many, many more.) So when they announced that there would be a movie version of Les Miserables, I jumped up and down and screamed and immediately started making mental notes of who would be my dream cast.

I’d like to take this time to break down my feelings for the real casting. Role by role. (See? This is how passionate I am about these things!)

Jean ValJean: Hugh Jackman – I approve wholeheartedly.

Javert: Russel Crow – ehhh, I’m a little concerned about his singing voice in this role, but acting wise, he’s spot on. (Please don’t let him do to this role what Helena Bonham Carter did to Sweeny Todd!)

Fantine: Anne Hathaway – She can sing it. She can act it. However, she’s a little contemporary for me for this. But ultimately, I approve.

The Thenardiers: Helena Bonham Carter and Sacha Baron Cohen – LOVE IT! Even though HBC can’t sing, this role does not require the singing talent that Sweeney Todd did. (I read somewhere a while back that Mr. Thenardiers was going to be Geoffrey Rush and as much as I love Sasha Baron Cohen, I like Geoffrey Rush for this even more. Oh well. SBC will be great.)

Marius: Eddie Redmayne – oooh. I’m intrigued. He’s perfect, now here’s hoping he can sing it. And THANK GOD it isn’t that freaking Jonas brother who fucked up the awesome 25^th anniversary PBS thing! Whew!

Cosette: Amanda Seyfried – I called that day one. She’ll be good. I do kind of wish they would’ve gone with a somewhat unknown Broadway gal for this though.

Eponine: TAYLOR SWIFT!?! – Are you guys on CRACK? Did you SEE Valentine’s day?

Look, I actually like Taylor Swift. I think she’s gorgeous, and funny, and an AMAZING songwriter, and a good country singer (when properly produced, not live. Remember the Grammys when she sang with Stevie Nicks? Oy.) But just because someone can sing, it doesn’t mean they can sing everything. Taylor Swift is not a Broadway belter. She’s a whispery country girl. UGH! I can’t even…

And then there’s the acting thing. Apart from the fact that the girl is one of the worst actors I’ve ever seen in my life – she’s so bad Taylor Lautner looked like Robert De Niro next to her in Valentine’s Day – she couldn’t be more wrong for the part. 

Say what you will about Lea Michele, but at least she would have sung the shit out of that role.

click here for proof!!!

Anyway, I will probably go see this movie because, well, it’s LES MIS! But I am not happy about TAYLOR FUCKING SWIFT. If I were Nina Gold, I’d ask that my credit read: Casting by Nina Gold (except for Taylor Swift. That was Tom Hooper and Universal trying to get young people to come see the film. I completely understand that she is wrong for the part and cannot act her way out of a paper bag.)

Where’s Kanye when you really need him?

Sorry for the rant but I’m very passionate about my musicals. Thanks for bearing with me and I hope everyone had happy and safe holidays.

OMG casting moments -- Part 2

Originally posted on December 5, 2011

I think it’s time for another OMG casting moment -- well this really qualifies as moments, but it’s for the same role so I guess I can lump them together. These are still a little embarrassing for me. I hope you thoroughly enjoy my humiliation.

I did this little indie film where a major role was a transsexual prostitute. The director really wanted to find an authentic transgender actor. This is harder than you might think. Especially for a very emotionally demanding scene opposite an Academy Award winning actor.

During this project I saw more male genitalia squished into pantyhose than I ever imagined I would see in my lifetime. (I'm not quite sure why they all felt the need to hike their skirts way up and sit with their legs apart.) One lovely lady, wearing a fishnet top (sans bra), even placed my hand on her surgically enhanced breast so I could feel how real it felt. I only remember how much I wish the mesh covered a little more and how surprisingly soft her skin was through the holes. But the strangest encounter on this project was when an actor explained how to “tuck your junk” with a full-on demonstration using duct tape. Some things cannot be unseen.

And on that note, have a wonderful holiday season everyone! I’ll be back in the New Year.

Hot people pep talk. (I know, but bear with me. Even hot people have insecurities.)

Originally posted on November 28, 2011

 

Dear, good-looking actors: Being attractive is not an affliction.  Some actors seem to think that if they play the hot love interest they’re selling out. (I’m looking at you Johnny Depp!) I’ve had this conversation with too many actors recently to let it slide any longer.

The conversation goes something like this…

HOT ACTOR: The nerdy virgin character is so much more interesting. I want to read for that role.

CASTING DIRECTOR: *laughs because she thinks he’s kidding*

HOT ACTOR: I can be nerdy. I swear!

CD: You really can't.

HOT ACTOR: But I’m an ACTOR. Please let me try.

CD: *gives in*

So HOT ACTOR comes in and auditions for the nerd, his biceps bulging under his short-sleeved button down shirt, his hair sans product for the first time in months, thick-framed glasses attempting to cover up his bedroom eyes, but guess what? HOT ACTOR is still HOT. Plus HOT ACTOR hasn’t been a virgin for so long he doesn’t even remember what that feels like, and we can tell. Because wardrobe and hair and glasses aside, he’s got that inner confidence that hot people seem to be born with. And this is not a bad thing. There are MANY roles; some would even argue that there are MORE roles for hot people than there are for character actors (that is, of course, when Johnny Depp isn’t playing all of them). So embrace your hotness. If we didn’t have a hot love interest to pine after, what would all the millions of teenage girls do? Think about the teenagers, guys. The teenagers.

You're not fooling anyone.

Originally posted on November 7, 2011

 

I'm in a bit of a rant-y mood today, so bear with me. 

Look, don’t lie in your audition! You will most likely get caught. If we specify that we want an actual French person with an authentic accent, we mean it. Don’t come in and tell us you’re from France when you’re clearly from Paolo Alto. When we're reading people with actual French accents, that are actually from France, and then you come in sounding like a cartoon, we kind of hate you for it.

An even more extreme version of this happened when I was casting the roll of a transgender prostitute for a film. We clearly stated that we did not want to see any women that were born women for this role. We had an open call - always interesting - and a few women that were clearly born women, tried to pass off that they were transgender. They weren't fooling anyone. And we were annoyed that they wasted our time.

LESSON: Honesty is the best policy. (most of the time)

It's all about me!

Originally posted on October 24, 2011

 

Sometimes you come into a casting room and the producer/director/casting director’s attention is not entirely on you. Please remember not to take it personally! You never know what might be going on in the producer/director/casting director’s head. They might be having personal problems or production problems that have absolutely nothing to do with you. All you can control is how you handle the situation.

You can choose to be angry at that person for not giving you their attention, or you can make light of it and try to win them back. It is your time to shine!

There’s a delicate way of getting the focus back on you without being obnoxious and I’m not sure I will entirely be able to explain this here.

Let me try with examples:

After our session gets backed up for reasons beyond our control, Actor 1 comes in and tries to hide his frustration with silence. The director has to finish checking an email message before getting down to business. I try making idle chitchat but Actor 1 is having none of it. He answers my questions with short one-word answers then when we finally do the scene his anger shows through.

Actor 2 comes in and makes a crack about the nice long nap he was able to fit in while we made him wait so long. He tells us he was having a great time watching the different personalities melt down in the waiting room from the wait. The director tells him to hold on one more minute while checking a text and the actor pulls out his phone and says he needs to check a text as well. But all of this is done in a fun way that keeps our attention on him. It’s an art, I tell you.

Now, we remember both of these actors equally but which one do you think we’d rather hire?

Well, that sucked.

Originally posted on October 17, 2011

 

It makes me sad when an actor doesn’t feel like they’re giving a good audition and they just kind of give up somewhere in the middle of the scene. They let it show all over their face and sometimes they even tell us how bad they thought it was after they finish. Maybe we thought it was a great audition, but now you’ve told us it was bad and we believe you.

If you’re not connecting with the scene, I would MUCH rather you stop and let me know this, and then take a moment to collect yourself and go again. I won’t hold it against you (unless you stop and start forty times). You guys! We actually want you to do well! We are on your side! I promise!

If you just have to say that it sucked out loud, please wait until you get to your car. Besides, you aren’t always the best judge of yourself. How many times have you thought you sucked and then you got the part? Right?

Essence of casting. (surprisinly, not a perfume)

Originally posted on October 10, 2011

When I try to explain how my casting brain works to people, I might as well be trying to explain the intricacies of a nuclear reactor. It’s hard to put into words how I “feel” one particular actor in a role and not another. For me, (I don’t speak for other casting directors) it comes down to an actor’s essence. I shall now try to describe what I mean by citing last week’s episode of Glee. (the one where “Rachel” and “Mercedes” are both trying to get the role of “Maria” in West Side Story)

Now, this is my opinion and my opinion alone. My casting partner and I differ on this particular reference but that’s okay because she’s wrong. *grins at partner*

“Rachel Berry” and “Mercedes Jones” (NOT the actors that play the roles but the characters themselves) are forces to be reckoned with. Both of them are incredibly talented singers. Both of them are Divas. Both of them know how to act the crap out of a song.  However, both of them are not right for the role of “Maria”. And it has absolutely nothing to do with physical appearances. I repeat, NOTHING!!! They do not have the same essence. 

“Rachel” is a passive aggressive character and “Mercedes” is an assertive character. “Rachel” can tone down her chutzpah, where “Mercedes” cannot. Just picture "Maria" saying “hell to the no!” and you’ll understand what I mean.

I would cast “Rachel” as “Maria” and “Mercedes” would be my obvious choice for “Anita.” (which I think is actually the better role – she has the better songs!)

I get what the writers were doing with the drama of it all, but I just found it interesting that the very thing I’ve tried so many times to explain, was right there in front of me, frustrating the hell out of me as a casting director as I watched.

There are no small parts, only small actors.

Originally posted on September 26, 2011

I remember way back to my high school theater days, when the cast lists would go up and my friends and I would count how many lines we had in the script. It was a big, gross, competition that I’m sad to say I did participate in. But I was fifteen. Unfortunately, this line-counting thing that I witnessed in high school still takes place, but with people who are way too old to be engaging in such an activity.

One of the most prominent memories of this happened back in my early days as a casting assistant. It started with one nice small role and ended with one cranky screaming manager. I called in his client for a juicy co-star role on a popular television series I was working on -- the role happened to have no lines, but it required a really good actress. There was this actress I had seen in a few things that I thought would be really great for the role, so managed to talk the casting director I was working for at the time into to letting me call her in.

The manager took the appointment at first, but a few hours later, he called me back screaming. His client had a prominent guest star role on a big television series several months earlier and they were absolutely insulted that I would have the nerve to call her in for a role with no lines. Now, if it had been the manager’s decision, they wouldn’t have taken the appointment in the first place, which happens A LOT, but in this case, I knew it was coming from the actress. The manager did overreact with all the screaming, though. If he hadn’t reacted that way I might not have even bothered to remember this incident in the first place.

In the end, the actress we ended up hiring for the role was lovely and I’ve hired her many times since, but the actress I tried to get in originally hasn’t really worked much. I have set her up for other projects (through her agent not the manager!), but each time, she’s failed to show up for the audition. It kind of makes you wonder if her ego is still getting in the way.

LESSON: Never think you’re too good for a role based solely on the line count.

Casting naked people. (seriously, though)

Originally posted on September 21, 2011

 

This is a tricky subject.

Dear, dear actor and actress friends, please don’t take your clothes off for just anyone! Do your homework about the people you're auditioning for before you go in! I'm horrified when I hear stories about these things. I can’t believe they still happen in this day and age! If you don’t feel safe, DON’T DO IT! 

When you first audition, you should not have to take your clothes off. If you're one of our top choices, we'll probably have you come back in so that we can make sure you don’t have any offensive tattoos or something like that, however, we will inform you well before you come in what is required of you. If it makes you uncomfortable, you can always pass on the project. Sometimes it’s just not worth it.

Think long and hard about nudity because those nude screenshots will haunt you for the rest of your life.

Nudity Required.

Originally posted on September 19, 2011

 

Those are my two least favorite words on a breakdown! Casting any kind of nudity is always awkward and tricky. (I will post my more serious thoughts about this subject on Wednesday, but today is fun story day.)

I once cast a film that required a female character to go topless. The actress we liked for the role agreed to the partial nudity but she wanted to use fake nipples so she didn’t “feel” naked. The producer agreed to it as long as she came in and showed us how they looked before she got to set. So she met the producer (male) and the casting directors (me and my casting partner, both female) in the casting office for approval. 

She wore a prosthetic nipple on one breast and showed us the contrast to her natural nipple on the other. She even bounced around so we could see that it wouldn't fall off. I know what you guys are thinking, sounds like a really tough job, right? Well it is. Even the producer (a guy remember?) was uncomfortable. The only person who seemed comfortable with the whole thing, was the actress, who then peeled the fake nipple off and stuck it to the top of my glass desk like a suction cup. The prosthetic nipple looked exactly the same as the real one, so the producer okayed it for the shoot.

LESSON: It’s all fun and games until someone sticks a prosthetic nipple to your desk.

Flashing and kissing and lap-dancing, oh my!

Originally posted on September 14, 2011

There are some very awkward things that can happen in auditions at times. I’ve been forced to look at embarrassing photos, flashed, kissed, and even received a lap dance or two. 

Now, there’s a pretty good rule of thumb about touching the casting director in an audition … DON’T! 

I get that actors want to use the person reading with them like they would use the other actor in the scene, but the thing is, we aren’t actors. It’s kind of like going to a job interview and giving the person interviewing you a lap dance. In some cases it might help you get the job, but there’s always a chance that the person you violated could press charges. At the very least be sure to get their consent before straddling them.

OMG casting moment.

Originally posted on September 12, 2011

 

Back in my early assistant days, I had the opportunity to help cast porn stars for the series I worked on. One of the characters on the series was watching porn in a scene and we had to cast the actors for that film within a film. Two girls, and one guy, if memory serves correct. Sounds fun, right?

One of my first OMG casting moments happened when a male porn star asked me to pick which headshot to give the producers. The producer’s assistant’s desk was right outside the audition room and the assistant was sitting at it, so she got to help pick as well. The actor set out four or five photos for us to choose from, all of them showcasing his major asset, if you know what I mean. If my face looked anything like the assistant’s did, I don’t know how the actor managed to keep a straight face. I quickly pointed to one of the pictures, pretending to be unfazed by the whole thing, and took him into the room. When I came back out, the assistant's jaw was still on the floor.

Little did I know, this would be NOTHING compared to the things I would encounter in the years to come. But I’ll save those stories for another day.