Sometimes life is punchy.

Originally posted on June 1, 2012

 
I have sat in front of my computer screen staring at a blank "new post" page many, many times over the last few months. And then I would type a few things and then I delete them. And then type, and delete, over and over and over again until I contemplated deleting the entire blog altogether. The thing is, it's hard to be inspirational when you yourself are feeling uninspired.

I know most of the people who read my posts - if you haven't abandoned ship (and thank you for that, BTW) - are actors or other creative-types. And most of you will probably relate to my recent frustrations. You see, sometimes casting directors struggle as much as actors do in between jobs. I know we're supposed to be these big, scary people who hold your dreams in our hands, but we are just human. We have bills to pay. We have crazy family members and friends to deal with. We have old pets with health problems. We suffer from depression and/or anxiety. We have car troubles. We have families of birds nesting in our backyards that we obsessively observe and occasionally photograph. Just me? Okay, well anyway, the point is, we are just like you!  


And each time a job finishes, I tend to get a little down. Okay, a LOT down. And then I panic because I don't know when the next job will start and what the next job will be and if I will lose my insurance and on and on and on, as all us freelance creative-types tend to do between projects. And it totally sucks.

Sometimes it just feels like life is punching you in the face from the moment you wake up until you finally fall unconscious at night, only to do it all over again the next day. And the next. And the next. But we must remember that eventually life's arm will get tired from all the punching, and the blows will become lighter and lighter until we become immune to them.

But you guys, these things only destroy us if we let them.  
And I have been letting it destroy me for the last month or so. But no mas! I say, enough with the violence already, life! Surely, a punching bag would be far better target on which to practice your fighting skills. From this moment on, I vow to learn how to bob and weave and block life's punches more effectively. Sure, there will be times I let my guard down and wallow in self-pity, and end up with a figurative swollen lip, and I might even need those times, but then I will pick myself back up, brush myself off, and put in my mouth guard. And I will be ready for you, life. I will be ready.

Now, please to enjoy photos of my happy little bird family. If anyone knows what kind of birds these are, I would love it if you would let me know in the comments! (Thanks to @PRETTYMEADOW I found out that the birds are House Finches!) Shall I name them?

Also, I'm back. Sorry about abandoning you for so long. It won't happen again. But if I run out of things to say, be prepared for bird family updates. Which will, of course, include photos. Because, eeee! Bird family in my back yard! 

Ego < Experience

Originally posted on March 15, 2012

 

I have an actor friend who works all the time. She’s one of those people you see and go, “Oh, look it’s ... her ... from that ... thing.” In fact, she works so much that there are even times where I’ll be watching a show and she’ll unexpectedly pop up and I’m like, “Well hello, Amazing Actor Friend. What are you doing on there?” It’s a thing of beauty, I tell ya.

And I want explain to all of you lovely people why she works all the time – aside from being generally awesome and amazingly talented, though as her friend, I might be a tad biased.

She works consistently because she doesn’t ever think she’s too good for ANYTHING.

She was recently submitted for a one-line role on a project I was casting, and at first I was like, “oh, but you’re better than that.” But then I was like, “I admire that you value any job, any size, and don’t want to pass up any opportunity.” Smart actor, this one.

She knows that each and every opportunity can lead to something else.

She knows that experience breeds confidence.

She knows that a job is a freaking job!

I can’t tell you how many actors think they are better than small one-line roles. (see example HERE) But the thing is, those actors are usually the ones not working consistently.

What these actors don’t understand is that you need those smaller credits to build up your resume. I’m not saying that you should go be an extra. No. I’m simply saying don’t poo-poo the small roles. Do those co-star roles on TV shows and those one line roles in indie movies. Because guess what? Even the one line roles in bigger blockbuster films are usually reserved for actors with more credits. So build those credits, people!

Experience means everything in this business. We all have to pay our dues. Hell, I had to intern for nine months before getting a paying casting job. NINE months! Of working for FREE! But I did it.

Everyone has to start somewhere. Don’t let your ego stop you from gaining valuable experience.

Does this post make me look fat?

Originally posted on March 2, 2012

 

I overheard the most disturbing conversation last week at Starbucks. These two women were talking about Adele with this “good for her being so recognized despite being the size she is” attitude, which I found extremely condescending. Apparently only very thin women can be recognized without question. Each of these ladies then tried to convince the other (and themselves) that Adele is beautiful even if she doesn’t fit the standard definition of “beauty.” My question is: whose standard? Because I think she’s a pretty damn beautiful woman. I mean, you can’t argue with that bone structure! One of these two ladies even said that it shouldn’t matter what she looks like with a voice like hers, but if you have to go out of your way to say this, doesn’t that sort of make your point? If it doesn’t matter why bring it up at all?

Now I would like to talk about the Oscars. Octavia Spencer, in particular. Pretty much every recap I read referred to her as “full-figured” and “curvy.” Are these the only adjectives you could come up with, people? Does it matter? Does it make her brilliant performance any more or less brilliant? Also, why is “curvy” a bad thing?

When we as a society put the likes of Angelina Jolie on a pedestal, do we think we’re sending our young girls the right message? You guys! Did you see her at the Oscars? YIKES, right? Remember when she was athletic and sexy? Bring that Angie back! #AngelinaJolie was trending on Twitter right after the awards, so for fun, I read through a bunch of the posts. About half were making fun of that ridiculous leg pose, and the other half were saying she needs to eat something. And, of course, there were a few that defended her waifish (can we call her that? Is there one step beyond waifish that might be more appropriate?) figure. They said that all the haters were probably just jealous, fat women. Interestingly, most of those “eat a cookie” comments were from MEN!

Oh, you guys, I’m not sure what the answer is here, and I know things probably won’t change in my lifetime, but, seriously, something’s got to give. 

 

* * *

 

When this posted originally an annonymous commenter made a very good point:

 

You make a lot of sense, but let me ask you this: How many "curvy" or "full-figured" women have you called in for roles in the past month? Roles that did not specifically call for a fat woman? Until that changes, then nothing will.

 

 

My response:

 

Anon:
I personally call in women of all shapes and sizes whenever possible. If they are the best actor for the part, you bet your ass I will fight for them! If they aren't, well, then they aren't.

Sadly, directors/producers/studio heads don't share my feelings that we should populate these fictional worlds with "real" women, and thus I have nothing to "show" for it on my resume. But not for my lack of trying.

On a cool note, the last indie film I did featured a full-figured female lead. The director even fought the producers to get her the role! Too bad we lost our financing and the project never got made. But, see? Sometimes there's hope.

Touché, Taylor Swift. Touché.

Originally posted on February 13, 2012

I want to begin by saying that I firmly stand by my position that Taylor Swift was completely wrong for Eponine in the upcoming feature of Les Miserables and I’m still beyond happy about the casting. That being said, I couldn’t help but feel like she was singing right to me at the Grammys last night when she performed her very apropos song “Mean.” Sample lyrics: “You have pointed out my flaws again as if I don't already see them … Why you gotta be so mean?” Yeah…  *hangs head in shame*

Before I get back to that, I’d like to give my two cents on the show itself.  First of all Whitney Houston was one of my first cassette tapes as a kid. I listened to it over and over belting “How Will I Know” at the top of my lungs (badly) while dreaming of one day being as amazing as she was. Her passing is so tragic yet, unfortunately, not entirely surprising. Addiction is an extremely heartbreaking disease that needlessly hurts so many, many people. I felt that the Grammys handled her passing quite elegantly and Jennifer Hudson did her proud. The tribute to Etta James was pretty damn amazing as well.

Next, I want to ask why the hell is the world so forgiving of Chris Brown? What is wrong with everyone? Did you guys see the tweets where young girls are begging him to beat them? Seriously? WTF? It literally made me nauseous. If we continue to glorify people like him, our society is doomed. Doomed, I tell you!

On a lighter note: I WANT TO BE ADELE WHEN I GROW UP! Yeah, so I have a little over a decade on her, but I still totally want to be her when I grow up. She’s such a positive role model in this day and age of frighteningly thin women (and men). But the next person who dares to say that she is even remotely overweight, I swear I will jump through the interwebs and gouge your eyeballs out! She’s gorgeous! I would give my left nut to look like her and I’m betting you would too! Then there’s that voice! And she’s humble and awkward and so cute. Serious girl crush going on over here if you haven't noticed. Oh, yeah, and she won ALL THE AWARDS!  Rightfully so. (sorry about all the exclamation points but she really is just that awesome!)

Now, back to my nemesis Taylor. You guys, I LOVED her last night! Like, love loved her. Like, I-watched-her-performance-four-times-in-a-row loved her. The artistic direction of that performance and the performance itself, were spot on. And she sounded AMAZING! Seriously, the best I’ve ever heard her. My hat’s off to you Taylor. You win. And you have proved a worthy adversary. (Though still not right for Eponine.)

Ask and ye shall receive!

Originally posted on February 1, 2012

 
You guys!!! Taylor Swift is not going to be in Les Miserables!!! 

If you only want to be an actor because you want to be famous, please try Youtube.

Originally posted on January 23, 2012

 

“I just, like, really want to be famous and stuff.” 

- Every wannabe actor ever.

Okay I might have dramatized that a bit, but I really do hear versions of this. A LOT. When I meet people and they first learn what I do for a living (especially when they don’t live in L.A. and have never acted in their life), they simply must tell me that I should cast them in something because they just have to be famous! Honestly, as they talk about their dreams of fame and fortune, I just really want to punch them in the face. Acting is not as easy as they think it is. And there are REAL actors out there who take it seriously!

Recently, I had a conversation with a guy who knew about entertainment and still said, emphatically, I might add (though in all fairness that might have been the alcohol talking), that he could do what any of these A-list actors could do any day of the week. And better than them as well. It took everything in me not to haul off and thrust an elbow into his sternum, but, alas, I resisted.

I don’t like to talk about it, but before I got into casting, I attended an acting conservatory. All I learned from it was that A) I absolutely did not have thick enough skin to be an actor (I was really more of a musical theater dancer/actor anyway). And B) most people move to LA to be actors because they just want to be famous.

If you really just want to be famous, try going on The Bachelor or film yourself doing something stupid and post it on YouTube. Seriously. Leave the acting to the experts. And by experts I mean Taylor Swift. * le sigh* (what can I say? I just can’t get over it!)

In which I rant about Les Miserables. (and die a little inside)

Originally posted on January 9, 2012

 

Every so often a film casts someone so unbearably wrong for a role that it literally keeps me up at night. And guess what? It’s (possibly) happened again. I’m still holding my breath for someone to admit that this is just some bad internet rumor and NOT TRUE, but in this day and age of Hollywood, I’m pretty sure it’s really happening. AND IT KILLS ME!!!

WARNING: This is going to get rant-y and there will most likely be strong language involved.

So, you guys! I admit it. I’m a total musical theater nerd! Like, for reals. Like, I can sing Into the Woods word for word. Every part. (See also: Sweeny Todd, Westside Story, Sunset Boulevard, The Fantasticks, Pippin, JC Superstar, Miss Saigon, and many, many, many more.) So when they announced that there would be a movie version of Les Miserables, I jumped up and down and screamed and immediately started making mental notes of who would be my dream cast.

I’d like to take this time to break down my feelings for the real casting. Role by role. (See? This is how passionate I am about these things!)

Jean ValJean: Hugh Jackman – I approve wholeheartedly.

Javert: Russel Crow – ehhh, I’m a little concerned about his singing voice in this role, but acting wise, he’s spot on. (Please don’t let him do to this role what Helena Bonham Carter did to Sweeny Todd!)

Fantine: Anne Hathaway – She can sing it. She can act it. However, she’s a little contemporary for me for this. But ultimately, I approve.

The Thenardiers: Helena Bonham Carter and Sacha Baron Cohen – LOVE IT! Even though HBC can’t sing, this role does not require the singing talent that Sweeney Todd did. (I read somewhere a while back that Mr. Thenardiers was going to be Geoffrey Rush and as much as I love Sasha Baron Cohen, I like Geoffrey Rush for this even more. Oh well. SBC will be great.)

Marius: Eddie Redmayne – oooh. I’m intrigued. He’s perfect, now here’s hoping he can sing it. And THANK GOD it isn’t that freaking Jonas brother who fucked up the awesome 25^th anniversary PBS thing! Whew!

Cosette: Amanda Seyfried – I called that day one. She’ll be good. I do kind of wish they would’ve gone with a somewhat unknown Broadway gal for this though.

Eponine: TAYLOR SWIFT!?! – Are you guys on CRACK? Did you SEE Valentine’s day?

Look, I actually like Taylor Swift. I think she’s gorgeous, and funny, and an AMAZING songwriter, and a good country singer (when properly produced, not live. Remember the Grammys when she sang with Stevie Nicks? Oy.) But just because someone can sing, it doesn’t mean they can sing everything. Taylor Swift is not a Broadway belter. She’s a whispery country girl. UGH! I can’t even…

And then there’s the acting thing. Apart from the fact that the girl is one of the worst actors I’ve ever seen in my life – she’s so bad Taylor Lautner looked like Robert De Niro next to her in Valentine’s Day – she couldn’t be more wrong for the part. 

Say what you will about Lea Michele, but at least she would have sung the shit out of that role.

click here for proof!!!

Anyway, I will probably go see this movie because, well, it’s LES MIS! But I am not happy about TAYLOR FUCKING SWIFT. If I were Nina Gold, I’d ask that my credit read: Casting by Nina Gold (except for Taylor Swift. That was Tom Hooper and Universal trying to get young people to come see the film. I completely understand that she is wrong for the part and cannot act her way out of a paper bag.)

Where’s Kanye when you really need him?

Sorry for the rant but I’m very passionate about my musicals. Thanks for bearing with me and I hope everyone had happy and safe holidays.

OMG casting moments -- Part 2

Originally posted on December 5, 2011

I think it’s time for another OMG casting moment -- well this really qualifies as moments, but it’s for the same role so I guess I can lump them together. These are still a little embarrassing for me. I hope you thoroughly enjoy my humiliation.

I did this little indie film where a major role was a transsexual prostitute. The director really wanted to find an authentic transgender actor. This is harder than you might think. Especially for a very emotionally demanding scene opposite an Academy Award winning actor.

During this project I saw more male genitalia squished into pantyhose than I ever imagined I would see in my lifetime. (I'm not quite sure why they all felt the need to hike their skirts way up and sit with their legs apart.) One lovely lady, wearing a fishnet top (sans bra), even placed my hand on her surgically enhanced breast so I could feel how real it felt. I only remember how much I wish the mesh covered a little more and how surprisingly soft her skin was through the holes. But the strangest encounter on this project was when an actor explained how to “tuck your junk” with a full-on demonstration using duct tape. Some things cannot be unseen.

And on that note, have a wonderful holiday season everyone! I’ll be back in the New Year.

Hot people pep talk. (I know, but bear with me. Even hot people have insecurities.)

Originally posted on November 28, 2011

 

Dear, good-looking actors: Being attractive is not an affliction.  Some actors seem to think that if they play the hot love interest they’re selling out. (I’m looking at you Johnny Depp!) I’ve had this conversation with too many actors recently to let it slide any longer.

The conversation goes something like this…

HOT ACTOR: The nerdy virgin character is so much more interesting. I want to read for that role.

CASTING DIRECTOR: *laughs because she thinks he’s kidding*

HOT ACTOR: I can be nerdy. I swear!

CD: You really can't.

HOT ACTOR: But I’m an ACTOR. Please let me try.

CD: *gives in*

So HOT ACTOR comes in and auditions for the nerd, his biceps bulging under his short-sleeved button down shirt, his hair sans product for the first time in months, thick-framed glasses attempting to cover up his bedroom eyes, but guess what? HOT ACTOR is still HOT. Plus HOT ACTOR hasn’t been a virgin for so long he doesn’t even remember what that feels like, and we can tell. Because wardrobe and hair and glasses aside, he’s got that inner confidence that hot people seem to be born with. And this is not a bad thing. There are MANY roles; some would even argue that there are MORE roles for hot people than there are for character actors (that is, of course, when Johnny Depp isn’t playing all of them). So embrace your hotness. If we didn’t have a hot love interest to pine after, what would all the millions of teenage girls do? Think about the teenagers, guys. The teenagers.

You're not fooling anyone.

Originally posted on November 7, 2011

 

I'm in a bit of a rant-y mood today, so bear with me. 

Look, don’t lie in your audition! You will most likely get caught. If we specify that we want an actual French person with an authentic accent, we mean it. Don’t come in and tell us you’re from France when you’re clearly from Paolo Alto. When we're reading people with actual French accents, that are actually from France, and then you come in sounding like a cartoon, we kind of hate you for it.

An even more extreme version of this happened when I was casting the roll of a transgender prostitute for a film. We clearly stated that we did not want to see any women that were born women for this role. We had an open call - always interesting - and a few women that were clearly born women, tried to pass off that they were transgender. They weren't fooling anyone. And we were annoyed that they wasted our time.

LESSON: Honesty is the best policy. (most of the time)

It's all about me!

Originally posted on October 24, 2011

 

Sometimes you come into a casting room and the producer/director/casting director’s attention is not entirely on you. Please remember not to take it personally! You never know what might be going on in the producer/director/casting director’s head. They might be having personal problems or production problems that have absolutely nothing to do with you. All you can control is how you handle the situation.

You can choose to be angry at that person for not giving you their attention, or you can make light of it and try to win them back. It is your time to shine!

There’s a delicate way of getting the focus back on you without being obnoxious and I’m not sure I will entirely be able to explain this here.

Let me try with examples:

After our session gets backed up for reasons beyond our control, Actor 1 comes in and tries to hide his frustration with silence. The director has to finish checking an email message before getting down to business. I try making idle chitchat but Actor 1 is having none of it. He answers my questions with short one-word answers then when we finally do the scene his anger shows through.

Actor 2 comes in and makes a crack about the nice long nap he was able to fit in while we made him wait so long. He tells us he was having a great time watching the different personalities melt down in the waiting room from the wait. The director tells him to hold on one more minute while checking a text and the actor pulls out his phone and says he needs to check a text as well. But all of this is done in a fun way that keeps our attention on him. It’s an art, I tell you.

Now, we remember both of these actors equally but which one do you think we’d rather hire?

Well, that sucked.

Originally posted on October 17, 2011

 

It makes me sad when an actor doesn’t feel like they’re giving a good audition and they just kind of give up somewhere in the middle of the scene. They let it show all over their face and sometimes they even tell us how bad they thought it was after they finish. Maybe we thought it was a great audition, but now you’ve told us it was bad and we believe you.

If you’re not connecting with the scene, I would MUCH rather you stop and let me know this, and then take a moment to collect yourself and go again. I won’t hold it against you (unless you stop and start forty times). You guys! We actually want you to do well! We are on your side! I promise!

If you just have to say that it sucked out loud, please wait until you get to your car. Besides, you aren’t always the best judge of yourself. How many times have you thought you sucked and then you got the part? Right?

Essence of casting. (surprisinly, not a perfume)

Originally posted on October 10, 2011

When I try to explain how my casting brain works to people, I might as well be trying to explain the intricacies of a nuclear reactor. It’s hard to put into words how I “feel” one particular actor in a role and not another. For me, (I don’t speak for other casting directors) it comes down to an actor’s essence. I shall now try to describe what I mean by citing last week’s episode of Glee. (the one where “Rachel” and “Mercedes” are both trying to get the role of “Maria” in West Side Story)

Now, this is my opinion and my opinion alone. My casting partner and I differ on this particular reference but that’s okay because she’s wrong. *grins at partner*

“Rachel Berry” and “Mercedes Jones” (NOT the actors that play the roles but the characters themselves) are forces to be reckoned with. Both of them are incredibly talented singers. Both of them are Divas. Both of them know how to act the crap out of a song.  However, both of them are not right for the role of “Maria”. And it has absolutely nothing to do with physical appearances. I repeat, NOTHING!!! They do not have the same essence. 

“Rachel” is a passive aggressive character and “Mercedes” is an assertive character. “Rachel” can tone down her chutzpah, where “Mercedes” cannot. Just picture "Maria" saying “hell to the no!” and you’ll understand what I mean.

I would cast “Rachel” as “Maria” and “Mercedes” would be my obvious choice for “Anita.” (which I think is actually the better role – she has the better songs!)

I get what the writers were doing with the drama of it all, but I just found it interesting that the very thing I’ve tried so many times to explain, was right there in front of me, frustrating the hell out of me as a casting director as I watched.

There are no small parts, only small actors.

Originally posted on September 26, 2011

I remember way back to my high school theater days, when the cast lists would go up and my friends and I would count how many lines we had in the script. It was a big, gross, competition that I’m sad to say I did participate in. But I was fifteen. Unfortunately, this line-counting thing that I witnessed in high school still takes place, but with people who are way too old to be engaging in such an activity.

One of the most prominent memories of this happened back in my early days as a casting assistant. It started with one nice small role and ended with one cranky screaming manager. I called in his client for a juicy co-star role on a popular television series I was working on -- the role happened to have no lines, but it required a really good actress. There was this actress I had seen in a few things that I thought would be really great for the role, so managed to talk the casting director I was working for at the time into to letting me call her in.

The manager took the appointment at first, but a few hours later, he called me back screaming. His client had a prominent guest star role on a big television series several months earlier and they were absolutely insulted that I would have the nerve to call her in for a role with no lines. Now, if it had been the manager’s decision, they wouldn’t have taken the appointment in the first place, which happens A LOT, but in this case, I knew it was coming from the actress. The manager did overreact with all the screaming, though. If he hadn’t reacted that way I might not have even bothered to remember this incident in the first place.

In the end, the actress we ended up hiring for the role was lovely and I’ve hired her many times since, but the actress I tried to get in originally hasn’t really worked much. I have set her up for other projects (through her agent not the manager!), but each time, she’s failed to show up for the audition. It kind of makes you wonder if her ego is still getting in the way.

LESSON: Never think you’re too good for a role based solely on the line count.

Casting naked people. (seriously, though)

Originally posted on September 21, 2011

 

This is a tricky subject.

Dear, dear actor and actress friends, please don’t take your clothes off for just anyone! Do your homework about the people you're auditioning for before you go in! I'm horrified when I hear stories about these things. I can’t believe they still happen in this day and age! If you don’t feel safe, DON’T DO IT! 

When you first audition, you should not have to take your clothes off. If you're one of our top choices, we'll probably have you come back in so that we can make sure you don’t have any offensive tattoos or something like that, however, we will inform you well before you come in what is required of you. If it makes you uncomfortable, you can always pass on the project. Sometimes it’s just not worth it.

Think long and hard about nudity because those nude screenshots will haunt you for the rest of your life.

Nudity Required.

Originally posted on September 19, 2011

 

Those are my two least favorite words on a breakdown! Casting any kind of nudity is always awkward and tricky. (I will post my more serious thoughts about this subject on Wednesday, but today is fun story day.)

I once cast a film that required a female character to go topless. The actress we liked for the role agreed to the partial nudity but she wanted to use fake nipples so she didn’t “feel” naked. The producer agreed to it as long as she came in and showed us how they looked before she got to set. So she met the producer (male) and the casting directors (me and my casting partner, both female) in the casting office for approval. 

She wore a prosthetic nipple on one breast and showed us the contrast to her natural nipple on the other. She even bounced around so we could see that it wouldn't fall off. I know what you guys are thinking, sounds like a really tough job, right? Well it is. Even the producer (a guy remember?) was uncomfortable. The only person who seemed comfortable with the whole thing, was the actress, who then peeled the fake nipple off and stuck it to the top of my glass desk like a suction cup. The prosthetic nipple looked exactly the same as the real one, so the producer okayed it for the shoot.

LESSON: It’s all fun and games until someone sticks a prosthetic nipple to your desk.

Flashing and kissing and lap-dancing, oh my!

Originally posted on September 14, 2011

There are some very awkward things that can happen in auditions at times. I’ve been forced to look at embarrassing photos, flashed, kissed, and even received a lap dance or two. 

Now, there’s a pretty good rule of thumb about touching the casting director in an audition … DON’T! 

I get that actors want to use the person reading with them like they would use the other actor in the scene, but the thing is, we aren’t actors. It’s kind of like going to a job interview and giving the person interviewing you a lap dance. In some cases it might help you get the job, but there’s always a chance that the person you violated could press charges. At the very least be sure to get their consent before straddling them.

OMG casting moment.

Originally posted on September 12, 2011

 

Back in my early assistant days, I had the opportunity to help cast porn stars for the series I worked on. One of the characters on the series was watching porn in a scene and we had to cast the actors for that film within a film. Two girls, and one guy, if memory serves correct. Sounds fun, right?

One of my first OMG casting moments happened when a male porn star asked me to pick which headshot to give the producers. The producer’s assistant’s desk was right outside the audition room and the assistant was sitting at it, so she got to help pick as well. The actor set out four or five photos for us to choose from, all of them showcasing his major asset, if you know what I mean. If my face looked anything like the assistant’s did, I don’t know how the actor managed to keep a straight face. I quickly pointed to one of the pictures, pretending to be unfazed by the whole thing, and took him into the room. When I came back out, the assistant's jaw was still on the floor.

Little did I know, this would be NOTHING compared to the things I would encounter in the years to come. But I’ll save those stories for another day.

The 80's icon.

Originally posted on September 6, 2011

 

For the most part I get to meet actors when they’re on their best behavior, however, occasionally I get someone on a bad day or someone that just doesn’t have manners, or doesn’t know better. These are some of my friends' favorite stories so I thought I’d share a few with you. And then I will leave you to speculate who the actor might be. I’ll never tell!

On one of my first jobs in casting, an ‘80’s icon came in to audition. He was one of the most famous people I had ever met at that point. I was a little star struck. He decided to take advantage of my naivety by asking for special treatment. How was I supposed to know that I wasn’t there to cater to a former star’s every whim?

First he asked to be seated in a separate waiting area because he didn’t feel like he should have to wait in a room full of actors (there were maybe five other actors). I did my best to accommodate him by seating him in the office of a colleague. 

Then that wasn’t enough and he asked to jump the line. I told him I’d see what I could do. He’s famous so he should get special treatment, right? I poked my head into the casting room and told the casting director about the ‘80’s star requesting to go next. She was annoyed with him for taking advantage of my niceness and told me to tell him that they’d be with him just as soon as they could. I did.

After about three more actors read (ten minutes, tops), he came out of his special waiting place and asked me why he hadn’t been called in yet. He was not happy. 

The casting director saw him talking to me when she came out to get the next actor and chose to intervene. This casting director is one of the nicest people in the business and couldn’t have been more polite to him. She introduced herself, thanked him for coming in, told him she was a fan. But he rudely held up a finger to her and refused to so much as look at her as he informed her that he was talking to me. Then he told me that I should let the producers know that if they want him for the role, they will have to offer it to him, then he stormed out.

I was sure I had done something wrong and I was totally convinced that I would be fired, but the casting director turned to me and said, that’s why he doesn’t work anymore. And he doesn’t.

LESSON: Don’t be a diva if you want to continue to work. No matter how famous you might have been once upon a time.

Oh, and did I mention that he didn't take his sunglasses off for the entire interaction? Yeah...

Moved to tears.

Originally posted on August 29, 2011

I’m the kind of girl who cries at pretty much anything. Those animal cruelty commercials with Sarah McLachlan, THE NOTEBOOK, and don’t even get me started about the last HARRY POTTER film. That being said, I rarely cry during auditions. I guess I watch them with a bit of professional detachment.

However, about four years ago I cast a little indie film called POWDER BLUE. It had the hardest role I’ve ever had to cast: a transgender prostitute who could hold her own in some very emotional scenes opposite Forest Whitaker. We auditioned hundreds of actors for this role. Male, female, and transgender, we didn’t discriminate. We may or may not have even read one young A-lister (in drag) who went on to headline a very popular *sparkly* franchise. Sorry, I don’t have pictures.

But the thing I’m probably most proud of in my 12+ years of doing this, is finding the actor we cast in the role. He came in during a very strange (and scary at times) meet-and-greet open call. He was new to Los Angeles, didn't have an agent, and wasn't even in SAG, but he had the right look so we gave him a callback.

When he did the scene in the callback, something happened… I was sucked into another dimension where this character lived. The actor wasn’t there anymore. In his place was this tragic transgender prostitute weighing her options with a rather heartbreaking outcome. By the end of the scene I was bawling. When the actor left the room I jumped up and followed him out. I couldn’t let him leave without telling him that he was the first person to make me cry in an audition. (I wasn’t the only one in the room crying either). He got the role and his performance held up in the final product. But sometimes I pull up that audition video on my laptop just to remember what magic actors are capable of, and how awesome my job is.

Unwelcome houseguests.

 Originally posted on August 24, 2011

 

It bugs me when actors bring friends along to auditions. This might just be a personal thing for me, but I pretty much always feel like the friend (9 times out of 10, also an actor) is tagging along in the hopes that we will have a role they’re perfect for and beg them to audition for us as well. I've even had an actor ask if their friend could audition for the same role. 
Perhaps you feel obligated to allow the friend to tag along because you don’t have a car or your car’s in the shop and they gave you a ride (mighty nice of them). But by all means, please tell that friend that you would like to be alone to prepare before you go in and put it all on the line. Auditioning is hard, guys! If they’re truly your friend, they will understand.
I also know an actor who brings his wife with him because she’s his good luck charm (I asked). She’s not in the business and she just sits in the waiting room and reads. She doesn't bother anyone, but I still think it’s a little unprofessional. Especially for a network test. Plus the waiting room is usually pretty full and it’s hard to concentrate when a friend/family member is there with you.

And then there's children. Look, sometimes babysitters fall through, and I totally get that, and if you don’t make a habit of it, I won’t even mind. But please, for the love of God, don’t bring the child into the audition room to breastfeed! You'd think this should go without saying but...

Inappropriate!!!

Originally posted on August 22, 2011

I really don’t understand it, but sometimes actors like to bring friends/boyfriends/wives/children to auditions with them. In fact, I know one actor who swears his wife is good luck and refuses to read unless she’s allowed in the waiting room. True story. But the most bizarre experience of my career happened when I was working as an associate on a comedy pilot.

An actress brought her husband and small child with her to the audition. After she read, (and did a nice job) the director gave her a few notes. But she was distracted. The baby was screaming in the waiting room. She explained that the child was going through a separation anxiety phase and excused herself to ask her husband to take the child elsewhere. The producer then suggested that it was okay if she brought the child into the room with us while they gave her notes. So in came husband and child. The child ran up to his mother and buried himself in her armpit and the crying stopped. The producers and director cooed at how he just wanted his mother and proceeded to give her notes. 

Then everything sort of went into slow motion for me as the child reached down, pulled up the actress's shirt, and began to breastfeed. I froze. The casting director froze. The producers and the director froze. The actress, not batting an eye, continued the conversation like everything was normal. She was ready to give the material a try. The producer motioned for me to commence recording the audition, and she did the scene with the child still feeding away. I politely framed the shot so that the child could not be seen.

When she left the room, the producer asked if we thought she was any good because he just couldn’t tell. We couldn’t either.

LESSON: There’s a time and place ...

I shouldn't have to remind people of this but...

Originally posted on August 17, 2011

It pretty much goes without saying that you should always be nice to everyone, right? Especially in this business. You never know who’s cousin or sister that assistant or PA is, or what they’re going to become in the next five or ten years. So why not just be nice to everyone? Trust me, it’s for your own good. You’d be amazed how many actors seem to forget this. Amazed! If you’re not nice to the intern or assistant, they will tell us. We will ask them. We want to know. It shows us what you’ll be like on set. So, lighten up. This should be fun!

"It's too late to apologize. It's too late." (Thanks, One Republic)

Originally posted on August 17, 2011

Throughout my career, I have encountered many, many lovely actors. Of course I get to meet them when they’re usually on their best behavior. However, occasionally, there are a few that are, shall we say… not so lovely. I encountered most of those back in my earlier days, when I was an assistant. 

My first encounter like this was with an actor who thought he was a bigger deal than he was. He tried to tell me that he shouldn’t have to wait like everyone else, that he should get special treatment. I told him that I that I would poke my head into the audition room and confirm this with my boss. This made him angry so he started making jokes at my expense. The other actors in the waiting room were uncomfortable, but he thought he was pretty funny. I didn’t let him go in before everyone else, but I did tell my boss (in front of the Producers) what he had done. He didn’t get the role. And not because he wasn’t good. Because the producers didn’t want him acting like a jerk to someone else on the set. 

My boss shared his behavior with his agent and he ended up sending me flowers to apologize. A nice thought, but the damage had already been done. I begrudgingly continue to bring him in to this day and have even hired him, but every time I see him I remember that first encounter and it sours my taste.

LESSON: Be nice to everyone! And not just because you never know who they know or where they’ll end up, but because it just plain ol’ common decency.

It's not personal.

Originally posted on August 10, 2011

It’s really not personal. This is a business. I know most actors know this and/or hear this advice all the time, and it’s hard not to take it personally when you put yourself out there over and over and nine out of ten times meet rejection. My advice is to take ten minutes, or an hour, or a day or two, if you need it, and mourn the loss of that role, and then move on to the next. Remind yourself that there are a million reasons you may not have booked this particular role and it might not even have anything to do with how your audition went at all. The only thing you can control is how prepared you are. That’s all. So move on to the next one, give that one all of your focus and maybe that’ll be the one. If not… On to the next.

478 reasons you didn't get the role. (And most of them aren't even about your talent!)

Originally posted on August 8, 2011

She’s too pretty. He’s too tall. He has weird hands. She reminds me of my sister-in-law. She has the same nose as my ex. She’s too thin (Seriously! I know, right?!). I prefer men with blue eyes. I prefer blondes. My ex was a blonde; therefore all blonde women are bitches. I don’t like guys with curly hair. I don’t like guys with straight hair. I don’t like her voice. And on. And on. And on. 

LESSON: Some things are simply beyond your control.

Look it up!

Originally posted on August 3, 2011

Don’t understand a word? LOOK IT UP! Don’t know how to pronounce a word? LOOK IT UP! There are many, many resources out there on the interwebs to help you pronounce and understand words you don't know. There’s really no excuse in this day and age. It’s just pure laziness. It only makes you look bad. And sometimes one little mispronunciation could cost you the role. No matter how much I might argue in your favor. (see previous post)


Oh, and if I see one more guy come in and mispronounce the word “chic” ...  (It's not pronounced chick, people!)

Two Stinkin' Words!

Originally posted on August 1, 2011

A well-known actress (again, I’ll never give names and you can’t make me!) auditioned for me a while back and butchered a few words so badly that I simply could not convince the director to hire her no matter how hard I tried. And I TRIED! Other than mispronouncing "irate" (she said “a-rat”) and "heirloom" (she pronounced the “H”), she gave a fantastic reading. She was, in every other way, completely and totally perfect for the role. But at that point it didn’t matter. The director (also the writer) had always imagined this character to be cunning and he now only saw this poor actress as, well, not-so-cunning. Now, this girl is NOT an idiot, I had her come back in for the director after coaching her, and we chatted and she’s not dumb, but the damage had been done. The director couldn’t see anything else. Even when she gave a stellar reading at the callback (and pronounced everything right). It broke my heart. Alas, I am happy with the actress that we cast, but I will always wonder what might have been.

LESSON: Do your homework!

Costumes and Auditions

Originally posted on July 27, 2011

There are a many different opinions out there about audition etiquette, so please understand that this is only my personal opinion.

One of those things that drives me absolutely crazy as a casting director is when people show up in costumes. I have a physical reaction to actors in cop uniforms in particular – in a bad way. Plus I’m pretty sure it’s illegal to impersonate an officer of the law. And why on earth do you have a cop uniform anyway? Did you go out and rent it for the audition? These are the things I think about while I’m supposed to be watching your performance. 

On the other hand, I do think an implied wardrobe is a good thing. For example: if you’re reading for a lawyer, by all means don't wear ripped jeans, wear a nice button down shirt or a suit. 

But please, for the love of God, don’t wear a gimmicky costume with a badge and a billy club! Or spurs! Especially don’t wear spurs! Do you want me to look at your face or your feet? 

I worked on Deadwood. You can’t imagine the getup some of those people came in wearing. Especially for the female roles (for those of you who didn't watch the show, most of the female roles were prostitutes). We had one session in particular where I couldn’t imagine what people in the surrounding offices thought we were up to. At one point the producers asked us to see if some of the girls had normal clothes because the costumes were distracting. I had to reschedule people because they didn’t have any other clothes with them and then I couldn’t stop thinking about what would happen if they had car trouble and ended up being arrested for solicitation.

Village People Headshots

Originally posted on July 25, 2011

 

Looking through over a thousand submissions on a project the other day, I was reminded how much I can't stand it when actors wear costumes in their headshots. It drives me crazy! I hate it! It's one of those personal things for me. I call them "Village People Headshots". They're gimmicky and cheesy and they make me NOT want to call you in. They make me feel like you think I can't imagine what you might look like in a cop uniform, or a lab coat, or as a cowboy, or holding a gun. Guess what? Part of my job is to have an imagination. Plus headshots are expensive! Save your money. And don't even get me started on how many guys have shirtless headshots when we're casting a thug or a security guard, although I did enjoy the headshot I received of a shirtless man posing with a machine gun. But not in the way he intended. 

LESSON: Save the costumes for Halloween.

Verbal Diarrhea

Originally posted on July 20, 2011

You finally get that big audition on that huge movie with that amazing director and you get so nervous that you can’t stop talking or you think you’ll try making jokes but you’re not necessarily funny or you forget to breathe as you prattle on and on about the parking and the traffic and… 

Look, learn to do whatever you need to do to center yourself before an audition. Breathing exercises, splashing cold water on your face, meditation, listening to music, etc. I even know one actor that does yoga poses in the waiting room – one time I went to get him and he was in a headstand, but hey, if that works for him, great! Learn to find something that helps you control any possible nervous verbal diarrhea that might come pouring out of your mouth. I swear you’ll thank me for it when you finally audition for that amazing dream director and you don’t decide to tell him you, a beautiful woman, practically have a penis. (see previous post)

Shut. Your. Mouth.

Originally posted on July 18, 2011

 

I was working on a comedy series recently and a fairly famous actress (no I won’t tell you who it was so don’t bother asking) came in to audition for one of the guest leads. In real life this actress is very much a tomboy, but the role she’s known for on a very popular series doesn’t necessarily show that she's a tomboy, just that she’s a good dramatic actress. However, she assumed that everyone in the room knew that she’s a tomboy and proceeded to tell us that she was shocked that we brought her in for the role of the hot, funny girl. She even went so far as to say, “I never get called in for the pretty girl. I’m such a guy. I practically have a penis.” Needless to say, the producers did not remember her audition – which was quite good and surprisingly funny – they could only imagine that she might actually have a penis. Because why else would she have said that? They just couldn’t get past it. Will I bring her in for auditions in the future? Yes, but you can bet that I will tell her agent to make sure she knows not to talk about her penis ever again. I kid. I can assure you she does not actually have a penis.

LESSON: Shut. Up. Before you talk yourself out of the job!

You stink!

Originally posted on July 13, 2011

 

This goes along with my story from Monday. When we get roles that call for pretty girls, most of the time our waiting room ends up smelling like a cheep hooker. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT wear any perfume to an audition! You may think you smell nice but when all the vanilla and flowers get together in the waiting room they breed. The result is a cloud of stench that could be used as a torture tactic by Jack Bauer himself. And when the stench cloud makes its way into our offices or audition rooms, we become cranky casting monsters. You don't want to audition for cranky casting monsters, do you? And we just might turn our wrath on you even if you're only an innocent bystander wearing scent de la waiting room.

This is for you own good, people.

I worked for a casting director back in my assistant days who was very allergic to perfume. She would sneeze and her eyes would water and she would get mad at me for not telling the agents that actors are not to wear perfume around her (which I did, of course - they just didn't think it applied to them) and then she would make me send the actors away without auditioning. True story.

And don't try the "it's lotion" cop-out on us. We know.

Pretty, my ass.

Originally posted on July 11, 2011

A colleague and I were working on a half-hour comedy and we had this little co-star role that called for a very pretty girl that would make our middle-aged male leads tongue-tied. We read many, many pretty girls for the role but one really stuck in my mind. And not in a good way. She finished her audition. We asked her to try it a different way. She did. Then she turned to leave and her shirt (dress?) did not cover her ass cheeks! All I remember was her ass. Not her name. Not her face. Certainly not her performance. I recall looking over at my colleague like “did I see what I think I saw?” as she walked out the door. We were completely and utterly speechless. Needless to say, she did not get the role.

LESSON: There is never, never, never any reason to show us your ass! I don’t care how nice it is, I don’t want to see it in an audition. Period.

This is new/scary/fun! (did I say scary?)

Originally posted on July 8, 2011

This little blog thing something I have been mulling around for a very long while. Today I got the push I needed to go ahead and give it a whirl.

I have been working in casting for film and television for a little over twelve years. I've had the privilege to work with some seriously amazing people along the way and some seriously not-so-amazing people (oh the stories I can tell). But the thing I love most about this job is that A) I get to meet lots of cool/fun/interesting/CRAZY/funny actors and help them realize their dreams. There's nothing better than seeing an actor on set after you've hired them and how excited and grateful they are. Especially when they're just starting out. I love that. And B) it allows me the free time between jobs to write and dance until my heart's content.

I will share anecdotes of my experiences and advice. Lots and lots of advice. Please ask questions! There are no stupid questions. The stupid thing is NOT to ask!